Kerry on....my boy

He is three and a half, and if I don't record the amazing combination of words that sometimes come out of his mouth, they will be lost for ever. And who knows what profound, philosophical truth the world may then miss out on....

There are various sub-headings:


Confused Words & Strange Connections
  • Braberries - his word for mummy's bra somehow mixed up with the word strawberries.
  • Harry Pottamous - The famous boy wizard has become confused with a large African mammal
  • Old Macdonalds - the dreaded fast food chain that we really shouldn't take him to, but sadly sometimes the lure of the hash browns is too strong. It's wrong, I know, I know.
  • Saxephant - a saxophone crossed with an elephant
  • Punch & Julie - the famous (and I think really creepy) children's puppet show
Questions I just Can't Answer
  • 'Why is that a tree/man/orange/traffic light etc...?' I don't know darling, it just is....
  • 'Why aren't I superman?'
  • 'Why aren't we in the television when we can see it?'
  • 'When can we go to Sunday?'
Statements of Fact
  • To every man he meets whether friend, family or stranger; 'you got a willy like me?'
  • To every woman he meets whether friend, family or stranger 'you're a girl, you don't have a willy like me'
  • 'You can't have two babies in the bath together. They make the bathwater taste stinky' 
  • 'I like rock and roll with my top off'
Misunderstandings
  • 'Uurrggh. I'm not watching Fifi. That's for stinky girls. I want Batman. He's a goodie. He dies people.'

Just Funny
  • Current favourite insults; 'You wear pink knickers', 'You're not my mother/father', 'You silly ga ga gi gi'
  • 'I'm not part of this family. I'm going round to B......'s house. His mummy likes me'
  • 'Ah baba la ba. Chicken in a la ba.' (Said when someone is just about to be told off - as in, "Look - that boy's been naughty. Ahhhh ba ba la ba......"This is sadly very contagious in our household and gets funny looks when said at work.)
  • 'Mummy I'm not going to speak to my sister this morning. I've been talking a lot and my mouth is sore now."
  • I spy with my little eye something beginning with blue. (The sky.)